Hopelessness and Regrets
by xXxDeadOnArrivalxXx
Summary: OrochimaruJiraiyaIt was wrong . . . and he knew it. He wasn’t supposed to be here, doing this, with him . . . but he couldn’t stop it either


Disclaimer: Hmm . . . I don't own these guys, but there is a glowing mask on the wall in my room. Alllllll mine baby! .

Also the lyrics I used are by Bronze apparently. Hm. Go figure

Warning: Well . . . if you read the summery you don't really need a warning. I don't think. Unless your stupid. . .

Dedication: To Chris again! Woot! This isn't the four pages you demanded nor is it as lemony as you wanted, but still . . . it isn't bad . . . right? --hopeful smile and puppy dog eyes--

A/N: Okay this is taking place after they find out Orochimaru's doings and first chase him out of Konoha. It's during the time when Jiraiya went to stop him and confronted him in the woods. (For references please check episode 135 of Naruto ) ((sorry I don't know where to check on the manga XD)

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Hopelessness and Regrets

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It was wrong . . . and he knew it. He wasn't supposed to be here, doing this, with him . . . but he couldn't stop it either. Because he didn't want to, he had wanted for the longest time, to be where he was. On the forest floor, the scent of the natural Flora and Fauna strung with the heavy scent of the rain that had recently fallen. The mix was laced with something else, the smell of passion, it emitted from the two. One with long black hair cloaking a pale beautiful face, kneeling over the other, spiked white hair framing his strong defiant face, red lines like tear tracks trailing down the cheeks. Jiraiya knew it meant nothing to Orochimaru. He didn't need this kind of connection, the snake like ninja had bigger plans and mountain sized dreams that were darker by 100. But since they had been children he had wanted to be like this, to be touched and caressed by the pale but nimble hands. He shivered, his dream mixing with reality as one of the said hands moved down his exposed chest and to his abs to the unbuttoned pants. Jiraiya fought back a moan as his erection was grasped gently but firmly. Orochimaru smiled above him, he was being teased, toyed with, and he knew it. But if it meant he could stay in these arms, and continue feeling that body against his . . . he would allow it. For this moment he would fool himself and let his mind believe Orochimaru was holding him because of an equal want, he needed to believe it. The pale chest was now pressed against Jiraiya making the sensation of fire just under his skin, magnify ten fold.

_...If I could pull out this heart of mine . . . _

He whispered something, it would have been a plea for more, or a quiet attempt at the others name . . . but it was probably a love confession. Seeing the smirk on the pale lips he knew it was. He should have been embarrassed, the feeling he had harbored since their childhood had just been exposed. He knew Orochimaru couldn't return his love, he hadn't expected him to, Orochimaru was the bad guy now, though really he always had been. He shivered, his body now naked on the ground being touched all along his length by a slender, knowing hand. A digit slipped into him and he arched resisting the urge to move away from the invading appendage, if he resisted now Orochimaru would leave, and they would be back to a corrupted ninja and his pursuer. He didn't want to let reality ruin this . . . not now . . . not after waiting for so long. It was painful, but it was a pain Jiraiya welcomed, it was a pain that didn't rival the one in his heart. He was going to hate him after this, after being held, they would have to hate each other. Jiraiya loved Konoha, Orochimaru didn't . . . if only they could stay. He reached out putting his arms around the white shoulders as Orochimaru moved lifting his hips, slowly pushing into the virgin opening.

_...I would want to show you this love right now . . . _

Orochimaru was moving, pulling in and out, thrusting deeper and deeper into Jiraiya, there were sounds exchanged, no words more than a weak name pulled from Jiraiya's lips, words would bring it all back. A harsh slap reminding him he couldn't be here, he had to catch him, take him back to Konoha, he was the enemy. None of that held any meaning as they rocked together on the ground, pleasure blurring the usually sharp mind of the Sannin. A tongue reached in his mouth, nimble as the hands and searched him pulling out a moment later but continuing its wet caresses moving farther than a tongue should be able.

_...If the night of animalistic love making could continue . . . _

The wet trail moved twisting around their forms pulling them tight together licking and stroking from ear to ankle and everywhere between. Jiraiya was chilled and fevered at the same time feeling his stomach twist and coil before recoiling and bursting at the prodding of the tongue at the place where he and Orochimaru were still connected. Jiraiya held the other man closer, filling himself with the feeling and memories of that moment just as he was being filled with the seed of the pale ninja. He took a deep breath feeling the body above him beginning to pull away. His body was weak with his release but his mind was screaming, hold him tighter, do let him go . . . don't let him walk away! It had become too real, it had gone back to what it was before. He pulled out of him, and stood putting the familiar Konoha jounin outfit back on, Jiraiya lay immobile and feeling his world shattering . . . again something ghosted passed his lips, it was a plea.

"Don't leave . . . "

There wasn't a reply. Orochimaru was already walking away, leaving Jiraiya where he lay, naked and weak with one thought in his head. He had to hate him now, he would too, he would hate him with all his soul, just like he was supposed to. . . but his heart was holding tight to the thought knowing it could never be spoken again.

/...I Love You . . ./

_...the fleeting dreams would disappear._

-Owari-

A/N: Sorry it was either I make it angsty and sad or I make it a rape fic. And I like Jiraiya too much to let him get raped by creepy snake guy and I don't think anyone could make an in character Orochimaru who gets raped.


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